Have you ever felt so numb in your life that you just want to run away, leaving behind all the troubles that you have caused and stay away from reality?! If not, you shouldn't. Because that's the worst part- you will not grow.
I was not sure what happened that day but while I was walking down the hallway of my building where I stay, there is sudden urge inside me to stop all that I'm doing at present because nothing is what I wanted to do or I wanted to be.
As I was walking down tiredly after work, I thought to myself why don't these doors in the hallway over here lead me to a place where I wanted to be. Do you remember the scene from The Matrix Movie where Neo walks into an endless hallway of doors..well that's the same feeling I had...except that it doesn't go green or computer codes running in front of me.
I can actually quit on what I'm doing at any point in time. I can say 'No'... I CAN......Maybe it's a sudden call inside me that I should stop wasting my time. And yes it will lead me to a point where I need to jump into a pit with full of doubts and fear- a paranoid stage. Maybe that's how I'll know what I really like to do with my life...
But then comes the big white frizzy polar bear who keeps on hugging me whenever I turn away from it. It made me feel so good and comfortable that I would melt into its arms. From my childhood till date, its always being there around me. At home, in school or outside. At times, I need to let it go but eventually I come back finding it. It's a hard time relationship with my polar bear. Well, my polar bear allows me to dream bigger but wouldn't let it chase it, even if it is tiny than its fur.
I stopped walking in between in the hallway and realized something. I'm not taking any risks....
Before entering into my home, I could hear my mom's favorite serial playing out loud on T.V. and I hear it always whenever I come. Soap operas are my mom's favorite. She watches a lot and I never understand what makes it so appealing to see such kind of serials that doesn't make sense in our daily life except it kills time.
"Di, electricity bill vanutund... da avide tableil vechtund...." mom said. I looked at the bill and smiled. Never saw 4 digit number on the bill payment section and I barely have that much money to pay after my college fees.
"Ende kayil paise onnum illa adikyan,.." She frowned. That's the decent roar from reality or at least a reminder of such things if I ever dream of quitting my job.
Sometimes it seems to be difficult to handle family responsibilities and our goals together. But the people who fought all this are the ones that we need to learn lessons from especially those who fought their own polar bear.
I was not sure what happened that day but while I was walking down the hallway of my building where I stay, there is sudden urge inside me to stop all that I'm doing at present because nothing is what I wanted to do or I wanted to be.
As I was walking down tiredly after work, I thought to myself why don't these doors in the hallway over here lead me to a place where I wanted to be. Do you remember the scene from The Matrix Movie where Neo walks into an endless hallway of doors..well that's the same feeling I had...except that it doesn't go green or computer codes running in front of me.
I can actually quit on what I'm doing at any point in time. I can say 'No'... I CAN......Maybe it's a sudden call inside me that I should stop wasting my time. And yes it will lead me to a point where I need to jump into a pit with full of doubts and fear- a paranoid stage. Maybe that's how I'll know what I really like to do with my life...
But then comes the big white frizzy polar bear who keeps on hugging me whenever I turn away from it. It made me feel so good and comfortable that I would melt into its arms. From my childhood till date, its always being there around me. At home, in school or outside. At times, I need to let it go but eventually I come back finding it. It's a hard time relationship with my polar bear. Well, my polar bear allows me to dream bigger but wouldn't let it chase it, even if it is tiny than its fur.
I stopped walking in between in the hallway and realized something. I'm not taking any risks....
Before entering into my home, I could hear my mom's favorite serial playing out loud on T.V. and I hear it always whenever I come. Soap operas are my mom's favorite. She watches a lot and I never understand what makes it so appealing to see such kind of serials that doesn't make sense in our daily life except it kills time.
"Di, electricity bill vanutund... da avide tableil vechtund...." mom said. I looked at the bill and smiled. Never saw 4 digit number on the bill payment section and I barely have that much money to pay after my college fees.
"Ende kayil paise onnum illa adikyan,.." She frowned. That's the decent roar from reality or at least a reminder of such things if I ever dream of quitting my job.
Sometimes it seems to be difficult to handle family responsibilities and our goals together. But the people who fought all this are the ones that we need to learn lessons from especially those who fought their own polar bear.
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